Days 1 through 3 after my c-section were baby business as usual. We had many visitors, I was having my blood pressure checked every 45 minutes or so, Lucy was passing all her tests with flying colors. I, however, was still receiving 4 breathing treatments a day for shortness of breath. While Rob was at home for an evening visiting with Abby, a resident doctor who was concerned with my breathing
ordered a chest x-ray to see what exactly was going on in my respiratory
system. I was wheeled to the x-ray
department and film was taken of my chest and lungs. Test results were inconclusive.
Rob and Abby enjoyed
their time together at home, especially since they ate out at restaurants for
the two meals they were together. They
came to the hospital to visit Lucy and I around lunchtime. We enjoyed our visit as a family, but something very strange interesting happened around dinner time when Rob fell asleep. Abby, Lucy and I were “alone” for the first
time, with Dad being in Dream Land and Abby got out of the chair she was
sitting on, came over to the bed and began to ask me lots of questions about
parenting, taking care of babies and Lucy in general. I explained how to change a diaper, how to
hold a bottle and what exactly an umbilical cord was. The umbilical stump and it’s “grossness” will
become an obsession of Abby’s until it falls off 10 days later, and she
announces that Abby’s extension cord has fallen off. In the moment, I realized that Abby had been
waiting for the three of us to be alone so she could ask questions about her
new baby sister. Abby then made me watch the hospital video about Shaken Baby Syndrome quite literally 20 times. It was quite a special
time for me and my girls that I enjoyed tremendously. Rob wakes up and takes Abby home for her
Saturday night sleepover in Grandma’s room.
Throughout the week, nurses and doctors had been listening
to my lungs and discussing how my breathing was still diminished. Many theories were thrown around, most
involving the warm winter we had and the fact that spring pollen was early and
severe, even in the first week of March.
The pediatrician came in to the room first thing in the morning of Day 4 and told us
that Lucy was ok to be discharged in her opinion. She filed the paperwork at the nurses’
station and Lucy was ready to be discharged with her momma that day (Sunday). The nurses came in and began to review
paperwork with me about mine and Lucy’s at home care. I received discharge packets full of
information and a parking pass so that we could leave the hospital free of
charge that day. Around noon, a resident
doctor came in the room and said I would NOT be discharged that day due to the
fact that my breathing was still labored.
Lucy was already discharged, but she was able to stay with me in my
room, but the nurses could not tend to her in the nursery or in our room when
she needed a diaper change or other assistance.
My chest x-ray was inconclusive and they were unsure why I was still
breathing heavy, despite the fact that I had been receiving albuterol breathing
treatments the entire time I was in the hospital. The doctor then ordered an EKG to see if
there was an issue with my heart. This
theory scared Rob and I the most, due to the fact that he lost his mother to an
enlarged heart when he was in his mid- twenties. A woman came into our room and hooked me up
to numerous monitors. I was very happy
when the resident returned to my room quickly to tell us that my heart tested normal, but that may have been the scariest 20 minutes of my life while we waited.
The next course of action was a circular cat scan, and this
time they were looking for a blood clot in my lungs. At this point, there were three things that
would make me hyperventilate: lying flat
on my back, talking a lot and walking to the bathroom. As it happened, I had to do all three in a
matter of 30 minutes and things went bad at that point. I was again wheeled to the cat scan
department and the technician told me that I would have to lay flat on my back
and hold my breath while photos were taken of my lungs. The tech injected dye into my arm, which as
promised, made me extremely hot. He
asked me lots of questions about how I was feeling during the moments where I
was allowed to breathe during the test.
After I returned to the room, I immediately went into the bathroom. The combination of lying flat, talking and
walking to the bathroom, none of which should make you remotely out of breath,
made me start to hyperventilate profusely.
The resident came in with the results of the cat scan, which showed no
blood clots.
It was at this point that all hell began to break loose. My breathing was heavy and I was beginning to panic because I had no answers. A pulmonary specialist was consulted while
the team encouraged me to slow my breathing and breathe as deep as I possibly
could. When I was unable to do this, my
panic became worse. The nurse called an
Intensive Care doctor who quickly informed me that he was immediately
transferring me to the ICU. In my manic
hysteria, I told him I would not go without Lucy and Rob being able to stay
with me. He looked at me like I was
ridiculous, and I now see that I was, in fact, being ridiculous. Two nurses said “Room 22!” Room 22 is a Labor and Delivery room that is
considered a part of the ICU, but allows room for the spouse and child to stay
when necessary. At this point, I was
crying hysterically and the nurses went into immediate action to move me to a
gurney and start my trek to ICU. The
nurses asked me to do a “crab walk” and scoot across the bed onto the gurney,
which was incredibly painful.
I yelled
at Rob to gather all of our things as quickly and carefully as possible. Rob knows that we check out of a hotel, I
check the floor, under the beds, in every drawer multiple times so he had some
double checking to do.
The nurses
started running me down the hall on the gurney, and I was sitting up so I would
not lose my breath any further. Because
we were moving so fast, I got quite a breeze going down the hall. The short trip to ICU was eventful, as the nurse
driving the gurney from the back smashed the nurse in the front into the wall twice and we
got stuck in the hall trying to get around an abandoned bed in the hall.
When we arrived at Room 22, the ICU nurses
were preparing the room, which did not have a bed in it at that time. My old
nurses grabbed the abandoned bed from the hall and they prepared it for
me. A large team of doctors and nurses began to
work on me in the ICU. I was sweating
and they got a fan and placed it on high and pointed it directly on me from
about 6 inches beyond the foot of the bed.
The ICU doctor began to order medicine to be injected into my IV,
beginning with Adivan for my panic attack and subsequent crying and hysterical
behavior. I watched the nurse write
about 5 more medicine orders on the dry erase board. The Adivan began to work quickly, and I could feel a
sense of peace come over me. This was also aided by the fact that my old nurses from the 2700 wing brought Rob in to hold
my hand, while they watched Lucy in the nursery. Rob looked panicked, which is not something I
am very used to. He is the rock and I am
the loose cannon usually.
A respiratory
therapist started a Bi-pap machine for me and put it on my face. It was blowing oxygen very fast and my head
flew back when he held it in front of me.
A nurse held my head while he strapped the mask on my face. I was still hyperventilating and unable to
understand exactly how this mask was going to help. I was also trying to convey to the respiratory therapist that I was sorry for snapping at him earlier when I was frustrated about my discharge getting cancelled. The oxygen blew my mouth open like a giant
circle and my cheeks were flapping with the cycling of the machine. I was unable to talk with the bi-pap machine
and that was extremely frustrating.
Eventually, Lucy was discharged and Rob left me to get her, the
bassinette and all of our gear. Rob took
care of Lucy through the night and I attempted to sleep, unsuccessfully for
most of the night. I was being
given Lasix through the IV and that was making me have to pee quite
frequently. As I did not have a catheter
and was not allowed to get out of bed, I had to use the bed pan to urinate....every hour or so.
I was so happy in the morning when they took the bi-pap machine off of my face. Rob noticed that I was much happier than the previous day and he joked with me about my "sex doll mouth" all night long from the breathing machine. To be honest, my cheeks hurt from the machine being turned up so high and my mouth was extremely dry due to the Lasix and the oxygen.
A breath of fresh air, no pun intended, soon came into our room. The ICU morning nurse was a joy. A joy whose name I cannot remember but I'd recognize her on the street and squeeze her with a hug if I ever saw her. She gave me a sponge bath (my first since entering the hospital 5 days earlier) and helped me powder my body. I was starting to feel like a human again. I was able to get out of bed and sit in a chair for a while. I felt great. My blood pressure was starting to regulate and they were trying different doses of medicine to find the perfect fit.
Around noon, I was allowed to walk to the bathroom to pee. While I was flushing and walking to wash my hands, a familiar feeling came over me. I was dizzy and was starting to have an out of body experience. I was going to faint. I quickly washed my hands, even though I was sure I was going to faint (I can't explain that one at all!) and stumbled out of the room and landed on the chair as I collapsed.
When I woke up several minutes later, there were 4 doctors, several nurses and Rob holding Lucy all trying to revive me by calling my name. The doctors told me that I had "vageled", which is something people do when they have a bowel movement and their blood pressure is off. The straining can make you faint. Apparently, I pee really hard. I'm sure you are jealous that I have that skill. Only me. They switched my blood pressure medicine and told me it shouldn't be an issue any further.
After they got me back into bed, Rob told me he was taking Lucy home to stay with my mother and Abby. I objected, I cried, I begged him not to take her away from me. He told me that he was holding her when I fainted and he didn't want to be in the position again where he couldn't try to catch me because he was holding her. I consented.
Rob called my mother, who had received the good news phone call that I was feeling better and knew nothing about the fainting. She was now going to be in charge of Abby and Lucy as Rob would be returning to me as soon as possible. Rob got my brother to meet him halfway between the hospital and home and Pat delivered Lucy to my mom and Abby. I knew my mom was up to the task, and she had Abby's help, who after all had seen the "Don't shake your baby" video 20 times! I was glad the baby would keep them busy so they wouldn't worry as much about me.
This is how she looked when Pat dropped her off. Pat blamed the crooked hat on Rob.
And now, my struggle to get home to my children doubles.
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