Hey Mom...

Heard at my house today...

"Hey Mom - was Justin Bieber at Selena Gomez's birthday party?"
"I don't know, buddy...I wasn't invited."

Jumble Madness

Abby loves doing the jumble in the newspaper.  Today she asked for some help.

"Mom - the 5 letters are P...U...Y...S...."  (What the ...???)

"and O."



Yeah...that's "SOUPY"....close one.

Yep, no doubt about it

Lucy is standing up, bent in half, with her head resting on a chair, farting and laughing.

Yeah...no DNA test required....she's mine.

Lookie Loos

Crazytown has relocated for the week...in other words, we are on vacation.

On our second day of vacation, we met up with some members of my family for lunch and a trip to the local zoo.  We decided on McDonalds for lunch and due to the warm weather, decided to eat inside.

There were 7 of us:
myself, Rob, Abby, Lucy
a new friend who is a 7 year old girl, and
my aunt and uncle.

We ate lunch rather quietly for such a large group.  When we were leaving, I noticed that nearly every person in the room was openly staring at us.  (Rob noticed too)

I have had people look at us before, sometimes they think Rob is someone famous (he's been accused of being a former professional athlete) or sometimes when one of the kids is disruptive, but I ABSOLUTELY believe we were being stared at because we were with a biracial couple.  I asked my aunt, who said that in the neighborhood we were in, that was likely the case.  Sad.

Get over it, people.  My aunt and uncle have been married for nearly 40 years and have been living in your town for 24 years.

If I had a few more days, I would organize a flash mob of gay couples (some of them with different skin colors too) in the parking lot to really freak out the lookie-loos from McDonalds.

Tolerance and acceptance for everyone.  Get on board.

what the What?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I still laugh...

Before I begin this story, I want to state in advance that I received my father's permission to share this hysterical tale.  My dad told me this story several years ago and when I think of it, I still laugh.  I hope you also enjoy it.

My dad is a funny guy.  He loves corny jokes and puns.  In fact, one might say he is "punny".  And if they did, he'd probably chuckle.  Dad is a big guy.  He once towered over us at 6'4", but 60 some years of hard work now have him closer to 6'1".  He fluctuates between a 2X and a 3X.

So one day, my dad goes into the bathroom and takes a shower.  He steps out of the shower onto a bathmat and pulls his towel off the rack.  He begins to dry his body, and bends over to dry his feet.  While he is drying his feet, the shower curtain finds it's way between his butt cheeks.  After his feet are dry, he straightens up, the shower curtain stays in it's new invasive home and my father rips the entire shower curtain off the hanger.  With his ass cheeks.

I'll wait while you stop laughing.




Last week, on Father's Day, I asked my dad if I could share this story.  Later that day, my cousin passed away and it didn't seem appropriate to share at that time.  My extended family has spent a few days together, mourning the loss of my cousin and then attempting to enjoy a rare weekend together.  Many times will come when life punches you in the gut, and when it does, I hope you think of dad, laughing in the bathroom, shower curtain rings flying.

Picture this

I've been neglecting this blog...sorry, just busy here in Crazytown.

Today, Rob takes my cellphone and says "Oh so Lucy is your picture on your one screen and Abby is on the other screen.  Why don't you have any pictures of me on here?"

"I do have pictures of you.  One where you were carrying groceries and your pants fell down around your ankles.  And another when you went grocery shopping and didn't wear a shirt, just a zipped up jacket and shorts.  And the one when Lucy barfed on your nipple and it looked like you were lactating...

...I'm a horrible wife."

"Yep."